Is It Even Happening?

I have been having some insurance issues.

Two months away from surgery, insurance issues are not something that I want to be having.

Dr. Chen’s office doesn’t submit for pre-approval to your insurance until about 30 days out. They are backlogged and I may not know if I am actually approved until pretty close to my sugery date. This leaves me feeling incredibly anxious.

I can only assume that everything is going to be okay but just in case, I contacted Chens office. The insurance people told me that I needed my primary care physician to send in a more current referral in order for them to submit to my insurance for pre-approval… okay, this would have been good to know and how is it that TWO months before surgery, they need a referral? I already had one but I guess they needed a more current one.

I immediately emailed my doctor to ask for her to send in a referral. She responded pretty quickly and sent in a referral for me but I did notice that the referral just said “General Surgery”. I immediately had my doubts that the referral was done correctly but I didn’t want to question her and just waited it out. Two weeks later and I noticed the referral says closed.

I don’t think my doctors office sent the referral correctly for one, but secondly… why does Chens office need a referral two months out and is this going to delay my approval process?

I am hitting that point in time where I need to talk to my work and let people know that I may be on leave for 12 weeks.

I also emailed Chens office to get a Doctors letter for medical leave.. I am still waiting on that as well.

I am trying to be patient but anxiety makes it really hard. It drives me crazy when there are so many things that are not set in stone. I don’t want to get my hopes up and then have something happen. My hopes are already up so if for some reason I can’t have surgery… this will be devastating.

I am trying not to think about the worst case scenario.

I wish it would all just go smooth for once.

Is It Even Happening?

This Year

There is both excitement and nervousness when I think about the start of this new year. I can officially say that I am having bottom surgery THIS year. That feels pretty damn good and crazy to say.

It is all becoming more real. Half of the hair on my arm is now gone, and I feel myself getting slightly self consiouce about it. I guess it is a little peek inside what it might feel like when I have a large arm scar.

Some days thinking about the scar doesn’t bother me… but then other days it comes back full force. On the days that it comes back full force I think about the cool tattoo I want to get… on days I don’t care, I wonder if I will even bother to tattoo over it. I guess we will see.

2016 was a very strange year. I had a lot of ups and downs. Friends were getting married, having babies, and moving on with their life and I struggled to feel needed or like I had a place in their lives still. I am still struggling with this but I am hoping that this year will bring me a new place in life, that I won’t get caught up in what others are doing and focus on what I want to accomplish for myself and not what I think is expected of me.

2017 is the year of the penis! A year of taking action, realizing I have the power to get where I want and striving to better myself.

Something happened when I stepped on stage last year and competed in bodybuilding. I did something that others probably didn’t think I would ever do, and I fought my hardest against the fears that even I thought would prevent me from stepping on that stage. It showed me that I am a fighter, and I WILL fight against whatever is thrown at me. I will never give up. Bring it on 2017.





This Year