Five Years Ago

Five years ago, I met the girl that  became my first love, and first heartbreak. Sometimes I hate myself for even knowing it was five years ago, and for still thinking about her.

I fell hard and fast for her. She lived across the country but I was willing to do whatever it took to be with her, even if it meant moving across the country. To this day I still have thoughts of moving to Washington D.C. or visiting. It was a magical place because it is where I spent the most time with her.

Ever since then, I haven’t been able to commit to a relationship for any longer than a few months. I’ve had a a couple other heartbreaks since then and I feel like the wound of heartbreak just keeps getting deeper and deeper everytime… to the point where it is not able to heal.

I have become pretty cynical when it comes to relationships. I am afraid to love someone again and have it be so one sided. Being single is so much easier and safer.

Who knows if I will ever date again or find someone I am willing to commit to. All I know is that heartbreak sucks and I am not ready to feel that again.

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Five Years Ago