After going back and forth on which bottom surgery to choose, I have finally made my decision. I am going with phalloplasty. Not only did I have to chose a procedure but yesterday I had to choose an arm.
I had my first day of electrolysis yesterday where they begin to remove the hair from your arm so that you don’t have a hairy penis and to prevent complication where they are rerouting your urethra. I have tattoos on my arm, but I have a more prominent tattoo on my left.. which is the arm they usually use if you are right handed. They almost always suggest to use your non-dominant hand but I was so reluctant to have a tattoo’d penis or to let my favorite tattoo go.
I made a last second decision of which arm to use right before beginning electrolysis. I went with my left because of the doctors suggestion, and also because I couldn’t imagine not being able to use my right arm for so long.
How would I give myself shots? How would I prepare food or wipe my ass? Of course I could figure it out but it wouldn’t make things any easier… not to mention I cook for a living. I use my right arm a ton. I think the other biggest decision maker was thinking about how the scar would be more visible on my right arm.. reaching for things, shaking peoples hands… it all would probably make me even more self conscious, so I went with the left and figured. Hey, not everyone gets to enjoy a tattoo temporarily. I have 8 more months to enjoy it, and then somewhere down the road I can get a new one. Clean slate.
8 months seems like a long time from now, but I am hoping it goes quick and that it gives me some time to save up some money for surgery. I am taking my first vacation next week in three years, and probably my last for another three. I have been using my sick and vacation time for surgeries for the past two years. After this one I have to start saving up paid leave again.
I was thinking yesterday about how when I was little.. I used to go to bed at night and pray that I would wake up a boy.. I would wake up and feel down there for my penis.. only to be disappointed every time… but on June 13th I will wake up from surgery having my prayers finally answered… along with being in a ton of pain but I will heal, and it will all be worth it.