I just ended a relationship I was in off and on for about 5 months now. Ending relationships has never been my strong point but I am pretty certain this is the absolute end of this one.
Before this relationship I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Since transition my self worth has gotten much better but sometimes I still fail to not settle for less than what I am looking for. Or perhaps the biggest problem in this relationship is that I was not looking for one at all. I was unwilling to compromise much or give up much of my time. Obviously that is a bit of a problem if you are with someone.
I am at this point in my life where I don’t want to be held down by anything or anyone. I don’t want to have to answer to anyone since I did it for so long. Being in a relationship has almost become a phobia of mine. Besides feeling stuck, I guess you could say I have been hurt pretty bad and that also terrifies me. I will never forget my first heartbreak and I think I have barred myself from ever feeling love that intensely ever again in order to protect myself.
Love is a tough journey.
On another note: Today I am TWO YEARS post top surgery.
It is still hard to believe that it actually happened. I remember feeling like it never would…and here I am two years later and couldn’t be happier. Life is a trip.