Looking Back

I am almost two years post top surgery. That is so crazy to think about. I used to have this other blog that I have now privated but I am still able to log in and read my old posts. I was reading back to this time of year two years ago leading up to top surgery. Such a trip.

Life has changed so much in just two years.

I remember being in such disbelief that it was actually happening. I remeber feeling so much anxiety that something was going to get in the way and that I was going to be tremdously let down.. but that never happened. The only thing that happened was surgery and it changed my life.

I was also very unsure about if I was going to start testosterone or not. I was on the fence. I juggled with the idea for quite some time but after top surgery I could tell it was the next step I needed to completely align with who I felt I was on the inside. I was scared to change in a way I didn’t like but the longer I was on T the more clear it became that I had made the right decision. It was only up from there.

I’ve had a few bumps along the road this year after two years but I still look back and think about how surreal these past two years have been.

I’ve struggled with so much dysphoria, anxiety, depression… but here I am still alive and working towards things I never thought I could. On Oct. 8th I will be stepping on stage for my first bodybuilding show, and then working towards my certificate to be a personal trainer. I am still battling anxiety amongst other things but life has much improved and I can’t wait to see what else life has in store for me.

 

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Looking Back

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