Would You Rather

I am currently in the process of trying to decide between having metoidioplasty or phalloplasty. I feel like making this decision is like playing a horrible game of “would you rather”. Would you rather have a tiny penis with no large scars? OR would you rather have a regular size penis with a huge arm/thigh scar?

I wish that the options for lower surgery were better. Both options require making a sacraifice. You either sacrafice a chunk of your arm/leg, or you sacrafice having a tiny penis.

What I truly want is phalloplasty…without the scar. Not possible? Well fuck.

The scar doesn’t personally freak me out… I don’t think I would mind it but I know that I already have social anxiety… and anxiety about my top surgery scars in public. I can’t imagine adding another scar that is in such plain sight. It is one of those scars that people either ask you what happened, or they just stare. Either way I am not down with that.

I was thinking that maybe I wouldn’t be so concerned with the scars if I wasn’t just getting into bodybuilding. I keep thinking about how I want to be on stage with a bunch of mostly naked Cis gender men… and I wonder how my scars would be seen up on stage. I don’t know if they would work against me or not, but I do know that the recovery time for phallo is lengthy and it could also set me back with training.

I know that Meta is no walk in the park either but there is the benefit of still being able to stand to pee, have a natural erection, keeping all sexual sensation, and not having huge scars.

Some days I lean towards Meta, and then others… I can’t imagine looking down and not having an average size penis.. or never experiencing penetrative sex.

Decisions, decisisons.

 

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Would You Rather

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